KIDS: Reward Method for Good Behavior
I am back again! You don’t necessarily have to be a parent to read this post, you could need it in future or it could come in handle for a friend one day. Let me start off by the quote that says “children are a precious gift”. So innocent at birth and cute, but when these little cupcakes begin to grow, mothers face different challenges which obviously are natural, nothing out of the ordinary. As mothers, we all aspire to raise wonderful kids’ well-groomed, well-mannered but behavioral challenges can be a bit overwhelming and believe me when I say that developing skills for positive disciplining takes a lot of practice. If you are getting it right, thumbs up! If you aren’t, that doesn’t tag you ‘BAD MOM’. On the contrary, it means you just have to keep trying out different discipline techniques until you hit the best that suits the child.
Now the question. Is the reward method an effective way to achieve a near perfect behavior in kids? It can be a good way to make them comply but not the perfect way. We love our kids and it is our responsibility to instill virtues that will turn them into responsible and respectable adults in future.There are still healthy ways to reward kids without jeopardizing and these includes;
- Praise and Reward for Good Behavior – While it should be used for great achievements and not every second, it is a good way to encourage and boost their confidence to do more good stuff. Display of appropriate behavior shouldn’t always be rewarded, we should let kids know that it is a way of living (like showing respect to parents and others, good manners outside the home etc), it is what makes us respectable and responsible individuals in the society.
- Tangible Rewards – It shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg, little gifts are okay. Remember, our intention is to reinforce some sense of responsibility, if escalated can cause serious consequences. Studies have found kids who receive material rewards grow up to be materialistic (Journal of Consumer Research). I quote” As parents we do not want our children to use possession to define their self-worth or judge others,yet loving and supporting parents can also use material goods to express their love paving the way for children to grow up to be MORE likely than others to admire people with expensive possession”, said authors Marsha Richins of University of Missouri and Lan Nguyen Chapline of the University of Illinois at Chicago. Great wisdom is therefore to be applied when giving gift rewards to avoid children using it as a manipulative avenue.Yes, it might seem okay buying a bike or doing something special for having all ‘A’s’ but they do come with consequences at times if overdone. My 7 years old came home with an award, I was so happy that I gave him a big hug,carried him like I would carry a baby and kissed him all over like a dog would lick its’ owners face. He was happy the way I reacted towards his achievement. Our physical and emotion reactions can as well be a source of encouragement to our kids to strive for success. AS SIMPLE AS A LOVING HUG AND KISS CAN BE A GOOD REWARD. You could use the gaining points reward method like (keep your room tidy, gain points every month and redeem points at the sixth month). Cool! That way it stays in the childs’ subconscious that he has to do a certain thing OR behave in an appropriate way and in no time these qualities/lessons becomes a part of the child.
In conclusion, the rewards system can be beneficial but very fragile. It can MAKE or BREAK. User discretion is advised and know when you are going out of line.WE ARE SUPER MOMS ROCK…